Fairer World Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Narrator plus Protestors 1 - 29 Duration Around 20 minutes including music and/or poetry suggestions. This script deals exclusively with fairness as a social and economic issue. Mention is made in the script of Children’s Rights. For a full ‘account’ of these see Children’s Rights Assembly. Sample Text Protestor 17: Those suffragettes might have got women the vote but there is still a long way to go before women have equal rights with men. Protestor 18: And what about the disabled? They are also still treated differently from the rest of us. A closer study should be made of their rights! Protestor 19: And what about the elderly? Do they always have as much say as they should? Protestor 20: (Stamping foot) And us children! We have rights too! Narrator: (Hurriedly) Oh I don’t think anyone would argue with that! Protestor 21: Is it really so much to ask? That all people be given the same chance in life? Protestor 22: That everybody has the same opportunities? Narrator: Aha! And that is where education is so important! Protestor 23: Good education for all so we can all achieve our full potential. Protestor 24: And it’s just as important that we keep ourselves informed, via the news and media, about the rest of the world. Protestor 25: Some countries do not have the wealth and resources that we have. Protestor 26: Developing countries or countries of the Third World need our help – now! Protestor 27: We have more than enough for ourselves – so we should be prepared to share our good fortune with others less fortunate than ourselves. Another script entitled Fairer and More Sustainable World Assembly combines fairness and protecting the environment. It is 'The Environment Assembly' plus a segment from the Fairer World Assembly i.e. a combined script. For full coverage of social issues/justice, I would suggest making Fairer World a separate purchase. Other scripts available are as follows: Assemblies/Class Plays on: • Bullying and how to deal with it • British Values • Children’s Rights (as mentioned above) • Mutual Respect • numerous other PSHE scripts – in both assembly/class play and guided reading format plus • Our Planet (available as class play and as a set of guided reading scripts) • Environment Assembly

Macbeth - Villain or Victim? Shakespeare tragedy turned comedy? With a little help from McBinny, McGinnie and McNinnie (3 witches) Sue Russell 'turns things around' - following the original plot, but with countless laughs along the way! Duration: Around 15 minutes (not including music suggestions) Cast size: 27 Sample text: (Enter Lady Macbeth, reading a letter, letting out intermittent exclamations of joy and shock) Lady Macbeth: (Reading from letter) “they vanisht” … (Pauses) Witches, eh? My husband always did keep questionable company! (Reads) “missives from the king” … “Thane of Cawdor” .. “Hail, king that shalt be!” … (Pauses to reflect on what she’s just read) Well, well, well! It seems my husband has more going for him than I thought! Thane of Cawdor now, and soon to be king, no less! How’s that for quick promotion! Just as well he has an ‘iron maiden’ at his side! One who, unlike him, is not burdened with ‘human kindness’.(Aside) I shall make it my business to move matters along, as I see fit! (Enter messenger) Messenger: Excuse me, Ma’am. I am sent to inform you - The king comes here tonight. Lady Macbeth: At such short notice? And my lord? Messenger: He comes too! Lady Macbeth: (Dismissing messenger with a flick of her hand) Fair enough! And fare you well! (Exit messenger, bowing) Lady Macbeth: The raven himself is hoarse that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements. (Adopts warrior ‘posture’, bracing muscles and performing pretend sword fight) Farewell, Lady Macbeth! Hello warrior woman! (Macbeth enters, interrupting Lady Macbeth ‘in action’. Lady Macbeth ‘recollects’ herself, returning to former graceful ‘lady’) Macbeth: (Bowing) My lady? Lady Macbeth: (Spluttering) Who? What? Ah, tis you, my love! Fancy creeping up on me like that! You gave me quite a turn! Macbeth: It looked like you were having ‘a bit of a turn’ yourself! Are you sure you’re all right? You look a little … agitated!

Pancake Day Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30. Duration 15 - 20 minutes. Maybe a case of too many cooks in the kitchen? And whoever said flipping a pancake was easy? Definitely time somebody in the kitchen gave up something for Lent - could the belly size of that Master Chef, Monsieur Bon Appetit, be a clue? This is a light-hearted assembly based on Shrove Tuesday - otherwise known as Pancake Day or Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday! Sample Text: Narrator: Hmm! But the whole point of Shrove Tuesday Chef 13: Is that it’s the last day before Lent! Chef 14: Which is all about giving up things. Narrator: And how long does Lent last? Chef 15: Well, traditionally it’s forty days Chef 16: Between Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday Chef 17: Or around six weeks leading up to Easter. Narrator: OK. So going back to Shrove Tuesday, why the pancakes? Chef 18: Well, I guess they’re a way of using up things like eggs, milk and sugar before this time of fasting? Narrator: (Clapping) Ah! You guess right! Congratulations! So, what are we waiting for? (Enter Master Chef) Master Chef: Or shouldn’t that be, who are we waiting for? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Moi? Narrator: Ah! You must be Master Chef: Monsieur Bon Appetit! Narrator: A fine name Master Chef: For a fine chef! The best! Moi? Je suis magnifique! Narrator: (Aside) And so very humble! (To Master Chef) Monsieur, we are delighted you could join us today! Master Chef: Mon plaisir! (Looking around) So, where is mon cuisine? (Everyone looks around in confusion) Narrator: Er, I think it might be helpful if you could try and stick to English. Master Chef: (Huffily) As you wish! So, where is my pan? Where are my ingredients? Where Narrator: (Interrupting) Oh don’t worry! We’ve got all that sorted! Look! You have an army of chefs to help you! Master Chef: (Muttering to audience) Hmph! Ever heard the expression ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’? Narrator: Sorry, we didn’t quite catch that! Master Chef: Oh don’t worry! Just saying what a delightful set of helpers I have here today! So, let us start. (Enter Chefs 19 - 28 with ‘kitchen props’; chefs proceed to prepare pancakes under watchful eye of Master Chef, who stands over and checks their every move, occasionally stepping in to show them how it is done ‘properly’)

Lent Assembly or Class Play So, what are you giving up this Lent? As usual, our poor narrator has dubious task of coaxing sensible - make that, any - sort of response out of his reluctant cast! And as for even thinking about giving up chocolate - well, let's just say, the devil knows better! Although there is the usual high quotient of humour in this play, the subject matter is serious - and there is a clear explanation covering what Lent is all about. Duration: approximately 10 minutes reading time - longer with inclusion of mixture of beautiful and comical music. Written for cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Sample Text Child 5: Lent covers a period of forty weekdays – that’s approximately six weeks but not including Sundays. Child 6: During this time Christians traditionally devoted themselves to fasting, abstinence and penitence. Child 7: In other words, leading a less extravagant lifestyle and reflecting on how they could improve themselves. Child 8: You mean, recognising their faults and doing something about it? Child 7: That’s right. Child 9: Hmm. Fair enough. But going without food for forty days? I’m not sure about that one! Child 6: Nah! You remember I used the word ‘traditionally’? Well, Christians have become a lot more relaxed about fasting these days. Most people today just give up something like, well, chocolate for example! Child 10: (Exclaiming indignantly) Chocolate? Going without chocolate for forty days? Are you serious? Narrator: Oh come on! Surely you could survive without chocolate for forty days? Child 10: (Emphatically) I don’t think so! Narrator: Forty hours? Child 10: No! Narrator: Forty minutes! Child 10: (Hesitantly) Hmm, maybe Narrator: (Impatiently) Forty seconds? Child 10: (Triumphantly) Done! Narrator: So let’s talk about what this Lent is all about. (To Child 10) And then we might have some ideas about what to do with you! Why, for example, does Lent last for forty days? Child 11: This was the period of time Jesus spent in the wilderness, fasting and praying, before beginning his public ministry. Child 12: The wilderness? Sounds like a pretty scary place to be! Child 13: It was! Let’s see just how scary it was and how Jesus dealt with it!

Bonfire Night School Assembly or Class Play This short assembly, The Hidden Gunpowder, celebrating Bonfire or Guy Fawkes Night, teams Guy Fawkes up with the local fireworks - helping each other out .... with their annual ordeal! Duration: 5-10 mins (up to 15 minutes with optional inclusion of Safety Guidelines, as dictated by 'Fireworks') Cast of 30 Narrator Fireworks 1-9 Sparklers (5) Bangers (5) Catherine Wheels (5) Rockets (5) Music 1 - Royal Fireworks Music - Handel (Music 1 as background music while children file in) Narrator: Good morning! And welcome to our Bonfire Night Assembly! (Everyone slouching, with miserable expressions) Firework 1: So. Here we are again. Firework 2: Same thing every year. (All Fireworks demonstrate a firework exploding into the air, creating a magnificent display, then dying) All Fireworks: (Together) Voompf! Pow! Zap! Fizzle ..... Firework 3: And then it's all over ..... for another year. Narrator: Hey! What's going on here? Or rather, what's not going on here? I've never seen such a sorry looking bunch of fireworks! Firework 4: Huh! You want to try being a 30 second wonder! Firework 5: It's just not fair! All we're asking for is a decent amount of party time! Firework 4: I mean, who can enjoy themselves in 30 seconds? Firework 5: That's no party! (Enter Guy Fawkes) Narrator: Ah! Mr. Guy Fawkes! Welcome! Perhaps you can cheer this miserable lot up! Fawkes: What? They're not moaning again, are they? (Turns to Narrator) You know something? I get this every year - it's a wonder they ever ignite! Narrator: That's what I was thinking! Fawkes: Anyone would think they had a hard life! Now, take me for example. Just look at what I have to put on? Just the oldest, shabbiest clothes nobody else would be seen dead in! Firework 6: And when you consider the number of people who come to see you .... Firework 7: Even if it is just to gawp at you burning up on top of that bonfire .... Firework 8: It just isn't right. Firework 9: He should be given a decent suit to wear! Fawkes: Too right! Why should I be dressed up like a scarecrow when I'm the main attraction? All Fireworks: (Together, angrily) Now wait a minute!

Easter Story Assembly Cast of around 30 Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time (this does not allow for changes of scene, music etc taking play to around 20 minutes) This Easter Story class play relates to all the major events: Jesus' jubilant entry into Jerusalem, Jesus' fury in Temple, Judas' act of betrayal, The Last Supper, Arrest in Garden of Gethsemane, Caiaphas' 'verdict', Roman Trial with Pontius Pilate leading to Crucifixion, Tomb scene and Peter's summing up at the end. The play begins and ends on a jubilant note - starting with 'Give me Joy in my Heart' and ending with 'Lord of the Dance'. SAMPLE TEXT: Scene 1 Jerusalem Music 1 (Child 1 and 2, Woman 1 and 2, plus lame child stand in a line, waving palm leaves over their heads, and singing chorus to the hymn, whilst eagerly awaiting arrival of Jesus. Standing to one side of them are two stern-looking priests, scowling in disapproval) (Enter Peter) Peter: (Addressing singers) Wow! What joyful music! Tell me. What are you celebrating? Child 1: Haven't you heard? Peter: Heard what? Child 1: Of the coming of the Son of God? Child 2: Of the King of the Jews? (Enter priest 1 and 2) Priest 1: Son of God, did you say? Priest 2: King of the Jews, did you say? Woman 1: Why, haven't you heard? It was prophesied He should enter Jerusalem, on a donkey. That's what we're all waiting for! Woman 2: (Holding hand of lame child) I'm hoping he can heal my little lad - that he can perform a miracle. Just as he has done for so many others! Woman 1: What a wonderful man! What power he has! (Priest 1 and 2 take themselves to one side, to continue their conversation between just the two of them) Priest 2: Who is this man who claims to be king and Son of God? Priest 1: And those ‘magic powers' of his? I don't like the sound of them, one little bit! Priest 2: What would our High Priest say? What would King Herod say? Priest 1: Guilty on two counts, me thinks! Priest 1: Blasphemy and treason! Priest 2: Let's hang around and see this king for ourselves! Child 1: Here he comes! Here he comes! Woman 1: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Woman 2: Blessed is the great prophet from Nazareth! (Enter Jesus. Walks along ‘crowd' of well-wishers, all waving palm leaves and singing. At the end of the ‘line', Jesus stands smiling, enjoying the singing)

Halloween and Sleeping Beauty Assembly 'Wicked' is a Witch to be reckoned with ... so don't be fooled by her 'fairy' status! Cast Size: 15 - 30 Duration: Around 15 minutes not including music suggestions. I originally wrote this script for PSHE as the message behind it is 'always remember to say thank you'. I have adapted it to give it for Halloween. It can also be used at Christmas - a truly versatile script! Sample Text Wicked Fairy: So, what’s it to be? You doing a one-man show (Aside to audience) And let me tell you, he’s no Michael McKintyre! Or doing the sensible thing – and working with me? Narrator: OK! OK! You win. (Looking at watch) Now, could you do whatever you’re going to do rather quickly otherwise this audience is going to walk! Wicked Fairy: Very well! Here we go! (Wicked Fairy flicks her wand in the direction of the cast and they all wake up, rubbing their eyes and yawning) Narrator: Phew! Now we can get on with the show! So, whilst this lot wake themselves up a bit, I’ll tell you a little about today’s performance! It’s rather a nice story Wicked Fairy: (Yawning loudly) I’m bored already! Narrator: About a king and a queen Wicked Fairy: Boring! Narrator: And their longing for a child! Wicked Fairy: Poor misguided fools! Have they no idea how much trouble children can be? Narrator: (Angrily) Now look here, Miss …. Er um.. Wicked Fairy: You can call me ‘Wicked’! Narrator: Miss Wicked, then! I recognise what a fine job you did waking this lot up Wicked Fairy: And? Narrator: But I must insist you desist from hijacking this show! This is a nice story Wicked Fairy: So you said! And you know what? Nice really doesn’t do it for me! Narrator: (Impatiently) Well, that’s just too bad! For your information, wicked doesn’t do it for me! (Looking pleased with himself) Ha! Ha! Touche! Wicked Fairy: (To audience) See what I saved you from? And it’s not just his one liners that get worse! Narrator: (Looking at watch) Now, I really must ask you to leave – now! Wicked Fairy: Very well! But you will pay for your ill manners! Not so much as a thank you for my troubles? (To audience, stage whisper) Never fear, my revenge will be sweet! As Halloween approaches, a witch’s powers grow - getting greater and greater! (Pauses) Oh … hadn’t you guessed? This ‘Wicked Fairy’ thing is just a front – a disguise. I’m really a witch … and a very wicked one at that! See you around!

Nursery Rhymes Origins Assembly This assembly on the origins of nursery rhymes covers ten nursery rhymes. All of these (bar one - Humpty Dumpty) are different from two other scripts on Nursery Rhymes - one (10 nursery rhymes) entitled: Nursery Rhymes Assembly for Key Stage I; and the other (20 nursery rhymes) entitled Nursery Rhymes Assembly Extended Version (which can be used by either Key Stage I or Key Stage II or both!) Cast Size - 30 - easily adjusted up or down Duration - around 20 minutes. Sample Text: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men Couldn’t put Humpty together again. Narrator: So. I’m hoping nothing worse than an omelette? Humpty Dumpty: (Indignantly) Not even as exciting as that! (Pauses) A cannon! Narrator: Pardon? The most well-known nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty: I know! The best loved, the most popular, the Narrator: (Irritably) Yes, yes. (Aside to audience) I can see where the large head – make that ego - comes from! But do tell us about this cannon! Humpty Dumpty: Not a lot to tell, really. Apparently used in the English Civil War, placed on a wall, and, well, I don’t need to tell you the rest! (Exit Humpty Dumpty and soldiers) Narrator: Well, that was a bit of an anti-climax! I do hope we’ve got something better coming up before the end of this assembly. (Sound of noisy children) Narrator: (Looking at watch) Oh please don’t tell me its playtime already! (Enter Old Woman waving a stick as children run around her boisterously) (Whole cast recites nursery rhyme; Old woman and children act out lines) There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, she didn't know what to do; She gave them some broth without any bread; Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed. Narrator: (Sarcastically) Delightful! (Aside to audience) I’ve no doubt we’ll be hearing from social services! Old Woman: No! No! Just giving them a little discipline! (Old Woman waves stick at Narrator who backs away quickly) Narrator: So, who was the real Old Woman? Old Woman: (Placing crown on her head) Ah that’s better! Queen Caroline II. I gave my husband eight children! (Looks around) It would seem some of them got away! Grrr! (Old Woman flails around with her stick) Where are the little blighters? Narrator: Long since gone, if they’ve got any sense!

Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage II Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: 15 - 20 minutes (without inclusion of music suggestions) Our Narrator has faced some 'mission impossibles' in his time but a Superheroes Assembly without ... Superheroes? Thank goodness there is always an Ancient Greek superhero around when you need him. But bringing out the 'super' in these particular heroes may prove too much of a challenge even for Hercules! Sample Text: Music 1 – Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler (Whole cast file in, in order of speaking, seating themselves along two rows of fifteen seats, facing the audience) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to (Silence as Narrator waits for cast to respond - nothing but a couple of feeble coughs) (Narrator turns round to face cast, speaking sideways on so that audience can hear) Narrator: What’s going on? Where are all my Superheroes? Superhero 1: Do you mean, us? Superhero 2: If you want a show of superpowers here today, you’re out of luck! Narrator: But why? What’s going on? Superhero 3: More a case of what’s not going on! Superhero 4: ‘Fraid we’re all recovering from colds Superhero 5: And not feeling in the least bit ‘superhero-ish’! Narrator: (Gasping) Oh no! So what am I supposed to tell this audience? Superhero 6: Come back another day? Narrator: No, I can’t do that! As you can see, they’re all here! Superhero 7: Well, sorry, but even superheroes have their off days. Narrator: (Desperately) But not, please, on the day of my assembly! Superhero 8: ‘Fraid so! Narrator: (Clasping head and groaning) Oh no! This cannot be! What a disaster! Music 2 Greased Lightnin’ – Grease (Enter Hercules, performing John Travolta moves) Narrator: Well, good morning! (Looking through notes in confusion) This is … er … a bit of a surprise! (Hercules snatches notes) Hercules: Oh you don’t want to bother with those! Let’s go for a bit of good old fashioned spontaneity this morning! Narrator: Old fashioned? Hercules: Well, maybe a bit more than old. Make that, Ancient. (Pauses) Oh, and Greek! Narrator: You mean, Ancient Greek? Hercules: Exactly! And who better to represent that magnificent race – than myself, the great Hercules? Narrator: Wow! You certainly were a superhero in your time!

Respect Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 10 minutes not including music suggestions. This PSHE class play was written for Key Stage I - the part of the narrator taken by the Class Teacher. Other Character Assemblies, Key Stage I & II, are available from writer, Sue Russell. Sample Text Goldilocks: Help! Help! Save me from these vicious bears! Mummy Bear: (Retorting angrily) Vicious bears? Daddy Bear: (Laughing) Who? Us? Baby Bear: We’re the victims here, not her! Narrator: Aha! Goldilocks and the Three Bears! Now that’s an interesting tale! Mummy: One of burglary Daddy Bear: Break in Baby Bear: And vandalism! Goldilocks: Oops! That bad? All three bears: (Together, nodding) That bad! Narrator: Oh dear! So not only have we a total lack of respect for people Goldilocks: Bears! Narrator: No difference! Don’t go making things worse for yourself, young lady! Mummy Bear: Quite! Who ever heard such cheek? Narrator: I repeat. Not only have we a total lack of respect for people (pauses) .. and bears! But a lack of respect for other’s property as well! (Whole cast gasps in shock) Goldilocks: (To Bears) I’m so sorry! I should never have walked into your home Mummy Bear: Or eaten our food Baby Bear: Or sat on our furniture Daddy Bear: Or slept on our beds. Goldilocks: I am so sorry. I’ll never do it again! (Exit Goldilocks and the Three Bears, smiling at each other) Narrator: Well, there’s a happy ending! Child 1: But it’s very easy to go wrong! To forget that respect thing. We do need reminding of some important facts. Child 2: Everyone is different. Child 3: We all look different Child 4: We all like different things Child 5: I like running! Child 6: I like football! Child 7: I like reading a book! Narrator: And that’s fine. Nothing wrong with having these differences! Child 8: Our world would be so boring if everyone was the same! Child 9: It doesn’t matter Child 10: If you support Chelsea! Child 11: Or Arsenal!

St. George's Day Assembly or Class Play What on earth could the queen of England, our narrator alias Beefeater/guard of the Tower of London and the Artful Dodger have in common? Read on to find out what 'Twist' turns the Artful Dodger into Sir Artful Dodger! Cast size: 25 but easily adjusted up or down Duration: Around 20 minutes (depending on how much music is used) The focus of this play is London. Time constraints meant I just touched on England's history - events and people. I have addressed this 'shortfall' in the collection of guided reading scripts (available separately). Sample Text (Enter Sir Winston Churchill, smoking a pipe) Narrator: Ah, Sir Winston Churchill! Thank goodness. You pulled us through that Second World War - can you help me deal with this group of .. of ... super-women? Sir Winston Churchill: What? This lot? Leave it to me! Music 5 Who Do you Think You Are - Spice Girls (Spice Girls sing and make threatening gestures toward Sir Winston Churchill, who cowers and runs off stage) Narrator: (Aside) Hmm. Time for a different kind of ‘Help!" (Turning to Spice Girls) Hey girls, here come the Beatles! Spice Girls: (Together) Beetles? Did someone say, beetles? (All Spice Girls scream and run off stage) Music 6 Help - Beatles (Beatles stride on, singing Help!) Narrator: OK! That's probably as much help as I need! Thank you, boys! Beatles: (Together) No probs! (Exit Beatles) Narrator: So. Enough of this frivolity! Back to the serious stuff! Take my job at the Tower, for example (Queen Elizabeth runs back onto stage, in state of total panic) Narrator: Your Majesty! Whatever is the matter? Don't tell me you spilt your tea? Queen Eliz: (Gasping) Haven't you heard? Music 7 London Bridge is Falling Down (Cast sings first verse) Narrator: But that was around one thousand years ago, Your Majesty! It has been rebuilt several times since then! Queen Eliz: No! No! It's not that I'm worried about! Narrator: Oh no! Don't tell me the Thames Barrier has failed? Queen Eliz: What? The world's largest movable flood barrier? Of course not! Narrator: So. Has Buckingham Palace been burgled? Music 8 They're Changing Guards At Buckingham Palace (Cast sings first verse, as two guards in uniform march up and down) Queen Eliz: What? With my fine guards to keep us safe? I don't think so! Narrator: (Gasping) Don't tell me St. Paul's Cathedral has burnt to the ground again? Queen Eliz: (Sighing in exasperation) No. Our fire service has improved a little since that Great Fire of London!

Ancient Greek Myths The Gorgon's Head Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: around 10 - 15 minutes not including music What was Poseidon thinking - taking on all these women? He might succeed at putting the youth Perseus in his place but a group of 'wronged women'? Never! This is one of a large collection of Ancient Greek scripts written by Sue Russell – guided reading scripts also available. Sample Text: Medusa: Just like I said! Gods! Men! The bane of our lives! Poseidon: (Clutching his forehead, muttering) I think I have a headache coming on. (Pauses)You know something? I suddenly feel just a little outnumbered! Would you ladies mind just giving me a short break? (Exit Athene, Medusa and Danae, shrugging their shoulders) Poseidon: Phew! Peace at last! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against ‘the weaker sex’ (Athene comes storming back) Music 3 War – Edwin Starr – Brief excerpt Athene: What was that you just said? Weaker, eh? I’ll show you weaker! (Athene strides up and down, wielding her sword) Poseidon: (Holding hand up) OK. I apologize. Athene: Goddess of wisdom and war! (To Poseidon) You’d do well to remember that! Poseidon: (Aside) As if I could forget! (To Athene) Now, what was I saying about having a little peace? Athene: Huh! Give me war any day! (Exit Athene) Poseidon: (Clutching head) Women! I knew I should never have agreed to this! (Enter Perseus, giving Poseidon a ‘high five) Perseus: What’s up, bro? Poseidon: (Indignantly) Bro? I’ll give you bro! Perseus: OK so I guess it’s Uncle, really – seeing as Zeus was my dad, and your brother! Poseidon: Correct! So, no more bro, right? Perseus: Fair enough! So, what’s the plan, dude? Poseidon: (Exploding) Dude? That’s even worse than bro! What is it with you youngsters? Can’t you talk normally? Perseus: (Sighing) OK I’ll try! I’m just not used to hanging out with oldies like you! Poseidon: (Exploding) Now look here, young Perseus! If you and me are going to get along, you need to show a little respect! (Enter Danae) Danae: Perseus! Where are those manners I taught you? Poseidon: I think he might have lost them during his travels! Danae: Well, let’s help him find them again! Poseidon is only trying to Poseidon: (Looking at his watch) Get this story told? Well, that’s proving a bit of a challenge! (To Danae) No offence, madam, but you women don’t half talk a lot! (Enter Polydectes, accompanied by ‘several’ women, all chatting and laughing) Polydectes: (Groaning) Tell me about it! You want to try keeping them quiet in court! Once they get going there’s no stopping them!

Twelve New Labours of Hercules Assembly NB: This script is not about the original 12 Labours of Hercules! It is based around a completely different set of challenges – on the kind of ‘admirable qualities’ the cast feels Hercules should have – presenting him with a 12-part self-improvement plan! This is a kind of spin off from the Superheroes script - almost a reversal in fact; as whilst in that script it was Hercules trying to make superheroes out of a pretty unpromising cast, this script is about the cast pulling the punches - Hercules struggling along in their wake! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration around 15 - 20 minutes not including music suggestions. This Key Stage II class play is PSHE ‘orientated’ as it focuses on 'character improvements' e.g. humility, courage, mutual respect, upholding what is right, keeping positive, patience, love .... and of course the hardest of all, being happy! Sample Text: Child 11: A start to your self-improvement plan. Hercules: My what? Child 12: Well, we all feel you are lacking Hercules: Me? The great Hercules? Lacking? Child 12: (Coughing) If you would allow me to finish? We all feel you are lacking – make that, greatly lacking in some of the qualities you should have as Hercules: As a great superhero? I don’t think so! Child 13: Actually, I was going to say, as a member of the human race! Your mother was a mortal, right? Hercules: Yes Child 14: So I’m sure she’d appreciate us trying to improve you! Hercules: Huh! How can you improve on perfection? Music 3 Chariots of Fire theme music (Hercules strides around ‘looking magnificent’) (Child 15 walks over to the music and turns it off) Hercules: (Indignantly) Hey! What’s the big idea? Child 15: I think we all get it! You are Mr Universe! Hercules: (Looking very pleased with himself) Well, thank you. I Child 15: (Pointing to head) In your head, that is! Hercules: (Furiously) Pardon? Child 15: Oh do stop saying that! Anyone would think you had a hearing problem! Hercules: (Spluttering) I most definitely do not! Everything about my physique is perfect! Child 15: Like I said, maybe on the outside. But it’s what’s on the inside that is sadly lacking. But don’t worry, we are going to help fix that! Hercules: (Sarcastically) And may I ask how? Child 16: You may! All very simple. You just have to complete 12 simple tasks that we set you. Hercules: (Laughing) Oh I get it! You are going to give me another 12 labours.

General Election Assembly - Who should be our next prime minister? 6 weeks to go … and bored with the General Election already? Then this assembly is your perfect tonic! As for our narrator, who would envy their task of choosing a prime minister - from a class of 30?! The choice? Football stars, movie stars, rock stars ..... and a whole lotta girl/boy attitude between the Spice 'lot' and a certain Direction! Somebody needs to tell them about equality - and who better than .... S Club 7?! This is a very light hearted look at the coming election. The ‘possible candidates’ are a selection of celebs – chosen purely for entertainment sake. For a more serious ‘take’, the script could be adapted to include a far more serious list of people either now or in the past e.g. Gandhi, King, Mandela, Mother Theresa etc. Likewise, whilst dealing with the current topic of the election, this script could be used for citizenship because of its PSHE component – this latter could be extended by adding a section on ‘What would you change if you were prime minister?’ Duration: 10 – 15 minutes reading time; around 20 – 30 minutes including music suggestions. Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down; and characters may be replaced by children’s own choices. Sample Text Child 1: I think David Beckham should be prime minister! Child 2: Nah! It’s got to be Lionel Messi! Child 3: No! Wayne Rooney has my vote! Child 4: Rubbish! It’s got to be Cristiano Ronaldo! Narrator: (Blowing whistle) Excuse me! Since when did any of these footballers know anything about politics? They might be pretty good at running up and down a pitch, but running a country? I don’t think so! (Exit Child 1, 2, 3 and 4) Narrator: Next! (Enter ‘athlete’ – Child 5) Child 5: I’m here representing the world of athletics! I’d vote for Jessica Ennis! Narrator: (To audience, sighing) What is it with kids and sport? (To Child 5) Yes, I can see why you might think Ms Ennis would set us all a fine example Child 5: A prime role model! An inspiration to us all! Narrator: Yes, yes. I totally agree! But there is a difference between running along those tracks Child 5: In record times! Narrator: And, …..let me finish…., running the country! (To audience) Am I having a moment of déjà vu or didn’t I just say that a very short while ago? (To Child 5) Anyway. Thank you … but no thank you! (Exit Child 5) Music 3 Theme music from Doctor Who

Olympic Games Assembly for Key Stage I. This script covers past ‘host nations’ but is predominantly an overview of the 2016 sporting events. Cast size 30. Olympic Games Assembly for Key Stage I Rio 2016 With coverage of all hosts nations (past and present) plus all the sports present at the Olympics, this is quite an epic - even by the Ancient Greeks' standards! Cast of 30 - easily adapted up or down Duration - 10 to 15 minutes Sample Text: Kallipateira: Huh! But I don’t see any horses! You should have seen our chariot races! (Enter Equestrian Team) Rider 1: Well, our horses may not race but look how well behaved they are! Rider 2: And look how well they jump! (Exit Equestrian Team) Narrator: So that just leaves (Enter Ball Games representative, carrying various balls and rackets) Ball Games rep: The Ball Games! Narrator: Let me help! (Reading from a list) Tennis, table tennis, volley ball, hockey, golf, rugby, football, basketball, handball and badminton! (Exit Ball Games representative) (Recitation of Olympic Ode Chorus) (Enter Archery, Shooting and Fencing representative, carrying assortment of ‘equipment’) Narrator: Wow! What are all these sports! Archery, Shooting and Fencing rep: Archery, Shooting and Fencing! (Exit Archery, Shooting and Fencing representative) (Recitation of Olympic Ode Chorus) (Enter cyclist, on bike) Narrator: And last but by no means least! Cyclist: Watch me cycle! (All applaud) (Exit cyclist) (Enter Homer) Homer: (Spluttering) Well! Narrator: Not speechless again, are we, Homer? Homer: Just a bit! I think it’s time I returned to Ancient Greece – where life was a lot simpler! Other scripts available: 1. Brazil - Host Country to 2016 Olympics 2. Olympics PRIDE Assembly (PSHE 'team spirit' script) 3. Olympic Games 2016 Leavers Assembly 4. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly - covering all 28 sports 5. History of the Olympics Assembly 6. Rio 2016 Olympic Games Assembly: history and events - combined script including Olympic Ode 7. Paralympics 2016 Assembly GUIDED READING SCRIPTS 1. A Complete History of the Olympic Games Guided Reading Scripts plus quizzes - set of 8 scripts, plus quizzes 2. Olympics PRIDE Guided Reading QUIZ Rio 2016 Olympic Games Quiz - 100 questions and answers! plus OLYMPIC ODE

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Take Two - or The Trial of Alice (An alternative version) Insolent, conceited, insensitive, stupid, cruel, dishonest .... surely not the Alice that Lewis Carroll gave us? Read on to find out how false fiction can be in this alternative take on one of our best loved classics. In this one Alice is facing those animals she met ‘down the rabbit hole’ on her first visit – in court! See how she fares under the pressure of the justice system – Wonderland-Style! PLEASE NOTE: This is not a re-telling of the original story. Cast of 30. Duration: Longer version around 20 - 25 minutes; Shorter version around 15 – 20 minutes. Sample Script: Alice: Now look! There’s been some terrible mistake! I’m here to be queen, not prisoner! (Whole court erupts in laughter) Queen: (Holding her sides) Oh dear! This really is turning out to be the funniest day of my life! King: Totally priceless, my dear! Alice: (Sobbing) No! No! This can’t be happening. White Rabbit will tell you it as it is! (White Rabbit just shrugs his shoulders) Alice: Oh no! This has got to be a bad dream I’ll wake up from in a minute! (Alice pinches herself and then cries even more) (Mouse, Duck and Dodo stand up) Mouse: Oh oh! She’s making one of those lakes again! Duck: That’s how she caught us out last time! Dodo: Playing the innocent! Mouse: And then scaring me to death with stories of that cat! Alice: You mean, Dinah? (Mouse starts screaming; other two get him to sit down) Duck: (To King) You see what I mean? Dodo: Ah! She’s not going to get away with it a second time! (King gestures for both to sit down) Alice: Get away with what? Queen: (To King) Does it matter? Off with her head! Alice: I was wondering when you were going to get round to saying that! King: Oh! The cheek! (To jurors) Please note. Offence Number one – Threatening Behaviour Alice: But I King: Offence Number Two – Interrupting Alice: But that’s not fair! King: Offence Number Three – Whingeing and complaining Alice: Hey, wait a minute King: Offence Number Four – Speaking out of turn (Alice is about to say something else but White Rabbit rushes over and puts his paw over her mouth) Queen: (To White Rabbit) Thank you! She really doesn’t know when to shut up, does she? King: No my dear! Not at all like you! Queen: Not at all! Alice: Huh! That’s a joke! Queen: (Screaming) Off with her head! Off with her head! (King ‘calms her down’ before addressing jurors again, both scribbling away trying to keep up) King: Make that Offence Number Five – Being Insolent and Rude and Juror 1: Please slow down a bit. Juror 2: We’re not used to as many offences as this!

Fashion Assembly including The Emperor’s New Clothes The story of The Emperor’s New Clothes provides the bulk of the text - with a minimum cast of 10; cast numbers are made up to 30 by the addition of numerous fashion models, plus ‘sparring’ fashion designer and narrator! Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - reading of text around 15 minutes but this does not include music or performances - both of which can be increased to effectively double the length of the play. Sample Text (1): Music 1 – You’re So Vain – Carly Simon (Whole cast files in, seating themselves in order, along two rows of fifteen, facing the audience, Narrator standing at the side throughout) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Fashion! Music 2 – Fashion – David Bowie (Line of fashion models walk up and down ‘the catwalk’ in front of the audience) Narrator: (Applauding as models return to their places) Very good! Bravo! (To audience) But seriously! Did you see the size of those heels? I mean, how on earth do they manage to walk on such things? Impractical or what? (Enter Fashion Designer) Fashion Designer: (Sniffing his disapproval) Oh! Hasn’t anyone told you? It’s about how you look on that catwalk. Narrator: (Angrily) Even if it cripples you? Fashion Designer: Oh darling! Aren’t we being just a tad overdramatic? Narrator: (Huffily) No, not really! I wouldn’t be able to move in those heels! (Fashion Designer pointedly looks Narrator up and down) Fashion Designer: No, I don’t suppose you would! (Aside to audience) No great loss to the fashion world, right? Sample Text (2) - from The Emperor’s New Clothes Narrator: Once upon a time there lived an emperor who was very fond of his clothes. (Enter Emperor and two courtiers) Emperor: (Twirling on the spot) So, what do you think of my outfit today? Courtier 1: (Gushing) Magnificent! Courtier 2: (Even more gushing) Fantastic! Emperor: (Preening himself) Oh really! Flattery will get you nowhere! Courtier 1: (Aside) Wanna bet? Courtier 2: We wouldn’t get far without it! Emperor: What was that? Commenting on the quality of this wonderful fabric, no doubt? Courtier 1: Oh, of course, majesty! Courtier 2: The finest in the land, to be sure! Emperor: I rather think so! (Aside) Best not say how much it cost! More than I pay these two courtiers in a year! (To Courtier 1) A mirror, please! It must be at least a minute since I looked at myself!

Autumn Assembly for Key Stage I One of a set of assemblies on the Seasons. Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down. It is suggested that the class teacher takes the role of narrator. Duration - around 10 minutes but can be extended with inclusion of list of suggested poems Swallows, squirrels, deer, bats, .... children! Our narrator certainly has his work cut out keeping this assembly under control! Ever tried keeping a hibernating hedgehog or two sleepy dormice awake? Or silencing a flock of Brent Geese? Just two of the tasks facing our, as always, seriously challenged narrator! Sample Text: (Dormice curl up together and drop off to sleep) Narrator: Hey you two! Not yet! Wake up! (Both dormice yawn and stretch sleepily) Dormouse 1: Is it April yet? Dormouse 2: I think I’ll leave it to May this year! Dormice: (Together) Yeah! Let’s have a lie in! Narrator: You most certainly will not! Do I look like a Dormouse babysitter? Be off with you! (Exit Bats and Dormice) (Enter Hedgehog, making loud snuffling noises; he collects up some of the leaves left behind by the children, makes a nest of them and lies down in the middle) Narrator: Aha! And who do we have here? Our first hibernating hedgehog! Hedgehog: (Huffily getting out ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign and placing it next to his nest) Can’t you read? Narrator: You’re a bit early! It’s not November yet! Hedgehog: So? (Putting on night cap) (Rubbing tummy) I’ve done enough eating! I’m ready for sleep!

Spring Assembly This is the first of a series of Seasons Assemblies written for Key Stage I. This first one covers 20 plus 'first signs of spring' and includes a reference to the first chapter of Wind in the Willows, with Mole and Rat extolling the joys of the riverbank! Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) It is suggested that the class teacher takes the role of narrator. Duration: Around 10 – 15 minutes including poems and music suggestions Sample Text: (Young animals ‘run rings around’ Narrator who gets increasingly exasperated) Narrator: (Sighing) Huh! I was forgetting those young animals! (Narrator jumping out of their way) Narrator: Oh dear! Is it just me or does it suddenly seem a bit crowded around here? Mother Rabbit: But didn’t you say, you loved Spring? Narrator: Oh yes! But .. (Bunnies and lambs keep jumping up at Narrator) Narrator: (To Mother Rabbit and Mother Sheep) Could you not keep your offspring under slightly better control? (Mother Rabbit and Mother Sheep ‘round up’ their offspring and return to their seats, scowling) Narrator: Oh dear! And there I was saying how much I loved Spring! But it’s not just about baby animals, you know! (Enter Child 6 dressed as Mole and Child 7 as Rat) Narrator: Ah! Two of my favourite characters from The Wind in the Willows! Mole: (Bowing) I’m Mole! Very pleased to meet you! Rat: And I’m Rat! Known as Ratty to my friends

The Pied Piper of Hamelin Class Play or Assembly This script, based on the poem by Robert Browning, has a cast of 30 and duration of around 20 minutes. It has a very welcome ‘twist’ of the tail (thinking rats, here) which will warm the hearts of everyone, especially animal-lovers. As one of the lines clearly states ‘No animals were harmed during the production of this play!’ Sample Text: Mayor: They fought the dogs and killed the cats, And bit the babies in the cradles, Councillor 1: And ate the cheeses out of the vats, And licked the soup from the cooks’ own ladles, Councillor 2: Split open the kegs of salted sprats, Made nests inside men’s Sunday hats, Councillor 3: And even spoiled the women’s chats, By drowning their speaking, Mayor: With shrieking and squeaking In fifty different sharps and flats. (Everyone turns to the rats to see their reaction. Rats all stand with arms crossed, looking furious – and then all suddenly burst out laughing) Mayor: What’s so funny? Councillor 1: Yeah! Councillor 2: I wouldn’t be laughing Councillor 3: If I were in your shoes! Rat 1: (Shaking his head) Where do you get all this stuff? Rat 2: We weren’t the guilty ones! Rat 3: OK so we might have nibbled at the odd piece of cheese Rat 4: And maybe the odd sip of soup. Rat 5: But fought with dogs? Rat 6: Killed cats? Rat 7: Bitten babies? Rat 8: Drowned ladies speaking with shrieking and squeaking? Rat 1: Are you serious? Rat 2: Do we look like we could take on cats and dogs? Rat 3: Or babies! Have you heard one screaming recently? (All rats cover their ears) Rat 4: Now that is a noise to deafen even the chattiest of ladies! Rat 5: You paint a totally false picture of us rats. Narrator: But you do come with something of a reputation! Rat 6: Oh, you mean that Bubonic Plague thing? Narrator: Well, yes. That did wipe out a rather large percentage of the human race! Mayor: (Triumphantly) There you go! Rat 7: But it taught you lot to keep cleaner afterwards! Rat 8: Clear up your own rubbish! Rat 1: Shame they didn’t clear out some of the human variety! Mayor: (Exploding) Pardon! Narrator: (To Mayor) It has to be said, your townsfolk didn’t seem to think very highly of you! Pied Piper: And with good reason! Let me pick up the story here. (Narrator gestures for everyone else to return to their seats) Pied Piper: You see, I’d heard that the town of Hamelin wanted to be rid of their rats! (All rats jump up in indignation) Pied Piper: (To rats) Sit down, gentlemen, please. I have other ‘rats’, if you’ll pardon the expression, to deal with! (Pointing to Mayor and Councillors) This lot! Other poems that writer Sue Russell has turned into plays have been: The Listeners, The Highwayman, Smugglers’ Song and If – all available off TES.